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How to Be Yourself Even When You're Nervous, Embarrassed, or Scared

Coach Marco B, Marco Benitez, burnout coach for healthcare professionals in New York, presents tips on how to be yourself when you're nervous, embarrassed, or scared, with a humorous expression of anxiety on his face, on the promotional graphic for the blog and coaching services at

"Be yourself." It sounds like straightforward advice, one that we've encountered throughout our lives from various sources—parents, friends, and even in the realm of dating, where the desire for authenticity often becomes a focal point of connection. Yet, for something so frequently advised, it remains a challenge for many. The quest for authenticity, for living a life that truly reflects who we are, is a journey fraught with obstacles, primarily fear of judgment and rejection.

The Essence of Authenticity

At its core, authenticity means aligning your actions and words with your true beliefs and identity. It's about being honest with oneself and, by extension, with the world. However, the path to realizing and expressing our authentic selves is not always clear. Many of us understand who we are but feel constrained in sharing that self with others due to fear—fear of judgment, ostracization, or even the fear of simply being alone.

Understanding Our Fears

The reluctance to reveal our true selves often stems from a deep-seated fear of not being accepted or loved. This fear can manifest in various ways, from the anxiety of being ridiculed to the dread of losing friends or family. It's important to recognize these fears not as insurmountable barriers but as layers of an onion, each concealing deeper insecurities and vulnerabilities. Unpacking these layers can reveal a universal truth: the fear of not being loved underpins many of our social anxieties and inhibitions. And being aware of this can help you to be yourself even when you're scared.

Strategies for Authentic Living

Embrace Your True Self

One approach to living authentically is to simply be your true self, regardless of the consequences. This might mean setting boundaries, pursuing passions that were previously set aside, or expressing your views openly. It's about making choices that align with your identity, even if it leads to changes in your social circle. Remember, the discomfort of losing connections is far outweighed by the fulfillment of living truthfully.

Change Your Environment

Alternatively, changing your environment can facilitate a smoother transition to authentic living. This doesn't necessarily mean relocating but rather finding communities and spaces that resonate with your true self. From joining book clubs and engaging in social media groups to participating in MeetUp events, there are myriad ways to surround yourself with people who appreciate and encourage your genuine self.

The Journey of Authenticity

Authenticity is not just about self-expression; it's about the courage to confront and navigate our fears. It's understanding that while not everyone will stay in our lives forever, those who truly matter will accept and love us for who we are. Whether you choose to dive in headfirst or gradually adjust your surroundings, the most important step is to start somewhere. Embrace the journey of authenticity with open arms and an open heart.

In Conclusion- How to Be Yourself Even If You're Scared

Being authentic in a world that often values conformity is an act of bravery. It's a commitment to living a life that is true to oneself, despite the potential for judgment or rejection. Remember, the path to authenticity is uniquely yours. Whether you decide to "cannonball into the pool" or "move to the beach," the essence of the journey lies in the pursuit of a life lived on your own terms, surrounded by those who cherish your true self.

Living authentically is not merely a destination but a continuous process of growth, learning, and self-discovery. It's about finding joy in the journey, embracing the challenges, and celebrating the triumphs. So, as you navigate the complexities of authenticity, remember that the most important voice is your own. Listen to it, honor it, and let it guide you toward a life of genuine fulfillment and happiness.

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